(2024 Nellie Wong Magic of Movies Essay Contest)
You’ve probably felt so insecure about yourself at least once in your life. Maybe you are still insecure to this very day! Maybe it’s how your voice sounds, maybe it’s how you look, how you dress, your religion, your sexuality, your gender, your culture, your eyes, teeth, mouth, ears, hands, nose, body weight, hair, body shape, financial situation? Or even your own skin color..? In this essay you will truly be inspired by the beautiful film called ‘Self’ because many can relate to being self conscious about being different.
‘Self’ conscious
First you will see a joyful and excited woman walking up the steps of an underground place which is most likely to be a subway. Then you will notice she is different from everyone else, all the other people are shiny, golden, and, well, beautiful. Does that mean that she’s not beautiful..? Well she didn’t seem to care or even think about that! At least, before she tried to interact with the other golden, perfect, people. When she attempted to say hi to them, they completely ignored her! It was almost like she wasn’t even there. The eager smile on her face turned into a frown when she realized that they were ignoring her, and that she was somehow not as important, not as visually appealing, not as good as them.
Losing yourself
The confused, sad wooden woman was now sitting on the roof of a tall building. As she looked over, she saw a golden hand. She ripped off her old wooden hand and replaced it with the new perfect one. Little by little, she starts discarding her old body parts for new shiny, “better” ones. It all seems perfect because she felt accepted, and seen. At least until she realized that this was not her true self.
Observations
Something that I observed was that there is a racial component to this film. The main character is black and dressed in traditional looking clothing. Her skin is wooden, and her clothing looks handmade. On the other hand, the others have shiny gold skin and are dressed in blue modern machine made synthetic clothing. The subtext of this movie to me is that they are discriminating against her for her appearance and ethnicity.
Conclusion
In conclusion, everybody is insecure about something whether it’s their appearance, status, or abilities. But it is never wrong, or bad. It is beautiful and your own self.